If you were hoping for excitement over the past seven days, tough shit. The first full week of February was as predictable as they come. To recap:
- Trump was acquitted of all charges in the impeachment trial
- The Democrats bungled the Iowa caucus in a series of outrageously suspect events that have [unsurprisingly] subverted Bernie’s momentum while providing an illegitimate boost to Mayor Pete
- Pat Mahomes rallied the Chiefs from a double-digit deficit against the 49ers to lead Kansas City to their first Super Bowl win in 50 years (this would have been more exciting if he had not already led double-digit comebacks during the first three rounds of the playoffs… If the Chiefs sign Mahomes to a $40 million a year contract then they are getting a team-friendly bargain)
- The State of the Union address was filled with surreal rambling and vaguely sexual references to the border wall
Etc. Still, there were some noteworthy events. While speculative Dem Defectors Doug Jones and Joe Manchin ended up voting in favor of impeachment, there was a significant turncoat on the other side of the aisle: the Mormon King himself, Willard Mitt Romney. Gasp.
In an utterly shocking display of humanity, Mitt cast a vote that, while meaningless in regards to the overall score, had a tremendous symbolic effect. By voting to convict Trump for Abuse of Power, Romney denied the President the unanimous Republican decision that he so desperately craved. Perhaps the Republican Party is not as unified under Trump as the Orange Guy would like us all to believe.
What will happen to Romney now? Unlike McCain, who pulled a similar (and more meaningful) stunt with the vote to save Obamacare, Romney is not dying of cancer and thus not on his way out of the public sphere. Many people, myself included, believe the man still harbors Presidential Ambitions, although how that comes to fruition now remains to be seen.
Within the ranks of his fellow Republicans, he will be forever remembered as a Pariah, an outcast. No one will sit at his table in the Congressional Cafeteria, and bullies like Mitch and Lindsay will shove him into lockers and torment him while he cowers in bathroom stalls.
Nor is it plausible for Romney to switch sides, even though his politics at this point are probably not all that different from someone like say, Mike Bloomberg. But alas, this is still the dude that ran against Obama in 2012. Romney is popular among moderates, but the Democrats would have to be truly insane to even consider such nonsense. I fear for the timeline where the Left has spiraled so far to the Right that Mitt Romney is their candidate for President.
This means that politically, Romney is Fucked. His future is clouded and he may be forced back into retirement, doomed to live a hapless existence as a man who is simply stunningly rich, as opposed to being both stunningly rich and politically influential. That said, his vote was admirable, and I would imagine the decision to stand up to his peers was not an easy choice to make. He certainly is no coward, unlike fellow centrists Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski.
As a Republican, Romney is still a Garbage Human, but he is the least garbage of all. Like McCain, history will be kind to Mitt Romney.
Speaking of Garbage Humans, by far the best news this week was that Rush Limbaugh has been diagnosed with advance lung cancer. Talk about fucking poetry. Frankly, I lack the words to describe how I feel about Limbaugh, whose toxic airwaves have inflicted incalculable damage on the American political spectrum. That this vile, grotesque propagandist was awarded the Medal of Freedom is a scathing indictment on just how far our society has crumbled under the Trump Regime.
I am glad Limbaugh is dying and I hope he suffers. I do not believe in Heaven or Hell, so it is very important to me that his final days are spent in terrible agony before he succumbs to the sweet release of death. That said, if I am wrong and there is an afterlife, I still hope Rush suffers enormously, regardless of him facing the prospect of eternal damnation.
According to the Trump voters in the comment sections of The Hill, this is a terrible thing to say and makes me a Garbage Human. Oh well! These are the same people who celebrated when McCain died, and he was a legit war hero (and also a Garbage Human, lest we forget). The idea that we should not celebrate the passing of a Garbage Human is ridiculous, and projecting about the politics of it is even more absurd. If Obama was diagnosed with terminal cancer tomorrow, Rush Limbaugh would be drenching the fabric of the the bean bag chair he does his show from. Any suggestion to the contrary is disingenuous at best.
So fuck Rush Limbaugh. In their 1996 banger Vietnow, Rage Against the Machine declared that we need to “shut down the devil sound,” a reference to the proliferation of fear-based conservative talk radio all over the AM frequencies. Rush Limbaugh is the Devil Sound. He was in 1996, and he will remain so until the final breath escapes his shitty, doomed lungs.
Anyway, New Hampshire is less than two days away. Who knows? Maybe there will be some excitement this week, although I would not hold my breath. Unless you’re Rush Limbaugh. Then I might suggest trying to conserve what little gas is left in the tank.
What can I say? I’m a Garbage Human too.