Sunday Scaries Part 1: All Hope is Not Lost

I have been reading Hunter again, which is never a good thing. The problem is that I am young and very impressionable, and there is no worse influence in life than the deranged writings of the Doctor. Although my sanity remains intact at the time of writing, I fear it will not be long now before I revert to old habits, strung-out on cocaine and boxed wine at three AM, jittery fingers hammering out some incoherent rambling into Google Docs. It is only a matter of Time.

Oh well. Someone has got to do it, I guess. Can you imagine if Hunter was still around? If he was able to write about all this Bullshit? If only he knew what was happening now. Hunter thought 2000 was bad; 2016 would have probably killed him. When Bush took down Gore in 2000, the Doctor described the outcome in apocalyptic terms:

Hunter S. Thompson, Hey Rube

Hunter believed that Bush Junior was the true Beginning of the End, and described the 2004 election as a “matter of life and death for the whole nation.” In a sense, he was right – a significant amount of this Bullshit can be traced back to Tuesday morning and how Dubya and Friends responded to it. Of course, there is a lot of other Bullshit that predates Nine-Eleven, but I do not think, for example, that if those towers never fell that we would currently have a president whose signature campaign promise was to build a two-billion mile border wall to protect us from Scary Brown People.

No sir. Trump is the master of White Fear, and he owes it all to Dubya. Nothing else matters. We can argue all day about Russians and Globalization and the DNC and what states Clinton didn’t campaign in and whatever. Who cares? Who gives a shit? The real reason we have Trump is because this country collectively shit itself when the planes hit and nearly two decades later still have not learned to control our bowels. Trump then is effectively the human equivalent of an adult diaper.

The end indeed. Dubya set the ship full speed towards the iceberg and Obama disabled the steering. After Obama devolved into a neoliberal by renewing the Patriot Act, deporting millions of people, droning Pakistani weddings, and recklessly expanding the Power of the Executive Office among other Horrible Things, I remember thinking how we would all be Very Screwed if some fucking lunatic with an authoritarian disposition ever managed to win the White House.

Surprise! Some fucking lunatic did win the White House, and three years later Trump has undone just about every good thing Obama did while simultaneously expanding all the draconian and evil “Centrist Democrat” shit that Obama also “accomplished.”

It is not a mess. It is a Weapons-Grade Shitshow. It is an unprecedented Fucking of the American People that for at least half of us is actually a rape.

Christ Almighty. Reason and Rationality are gone. Nothing matters. If 2004 was a life or death election where we chose death, then 2020 is pointless. We are already dead, and Trump is fucking the corpse. What a ride. Maybe the real reason Hunter shot himself is because he saw it coming. He knew that we had crossed the line of No Return.

But personally, I am not ready to to admit that all Hope is lost.

It is hanging by a thread, precarious and stretching thinner by the minute. It is faint, remote, distant like the light from an ancient star at the heart of the universe. If you blink, you will miss it. If you turn on the television, you will definitely miss it.

There are many Bad People out there who want you to believe that Hope is lost, and I am not just talking about the obvious ones like Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell. Many of these Bad People work for the Democratic National Committee and the Cable News Network. They are evil and not to be trusted. They are liars and schemers and shills and sodomites.

We have hit the iceberg and the ship is sinking. There is nothing we can do about that. The water is going to keep rising and some people are going to drown. That part is inevitable.

But believe me when I say that there are still lives to be saved. There are still lifeboats. The Coast Guard and the Navy are out there, waiting to come pick up the survivors, should they vote for it. The big boat is fucked but we can build another one. Hopefully a better one, which at this point is a low bar to clear. It will be immensely difficult and challenging and there are a lot of the aforementioned Evil People who will do everything they can to drill holes in the lifeboats and smash the radio, but secretly we outnumber them one-hundred to one, and the only real power they have is tied to whether or not we listen to their bullshit.

Fuck em’ all. Hope is not lost. We are being given a second chance, an opportunity to redeem ourselves. It is our final chance. If we fuck this up again in November, there won’t be any coming back from it. It will be the end of Western Civilization and possibly the human race.

If we re-elect Trump, he will remain President until he dies. He will skull-fuck what is left of the Earth and then retreat to a fortified doomsday fortress in the Rocky Mountains when the rising tides render the coasts unlivable. The police will be given free reign to execute whoever they want, including white people. Congress will be replaced by the Board of Directors, and all judges replaced with corporate lobbyists. Robots will take all the jobs except for plumbing and electrical work, which will require a fifteen-year technical degree that costs approximately seven-hundred thousand dollars. The government will begin accepting organs (voluntary or otherwise) as a form of student loan repayment.

Etc. I could go on, but you get the idea. The important thing now is that we cling to that faint hope and do everything we can to stop this madness. If we fail, our current Bullshit is going to look like Utopia compared to the Endless Wrath and Terror of more Trump. If that doesn’t motivate you, I don’t know what will.