Congressional Games

As a hardworking American voter, it is important to me that members of Congress are similarly hardworking. After all, what kind of future can we expect if our elected officials are not held to the same standards as everyday Americans? Members of Congress, especially high profile ones, should operate not just as public servants, but also as role models for future generations of American citizens.

So, when I saw that freshman congresswoman and progressive sensation Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posted today on Instagram about how she had finally reached the rank of Silver in the popular video game League of Legends, I was predictably heated. A member of Congress should not be spending their time playing video games! And on the taxpayers dime? What kind of message does that send to the kids?

Frankly, this behavior is indefensible. If Miss Ocasio-Cortez were a true public servant, she wouldn’t be spending her time trying to siege towers on Summoner’s Rift. Instead, she would be engaged in reputable congressional extracurricular activities like racketeering, bribery, crony capitalism, insider trading, and pork barrel spending.

As the youngest member of Congress, AOC has been in the spotlight ever since she won her primary election over Joe Crowley. At only thirty years old, Ocasio-Cortez clearly still has a lot to learn about how Congress functions. Sure, she might understand some basic concepts such as last hitting or objective control, but what about the more nuanced functions of Congress, like using your position on the board of a pharmaceutical company to illegally alert your son (also a major shareholder) about a failed drug trial, thus avoiding millions in losses? What does AOC know about that? Nothing. Unbelievable.

Ocasio-Cortez might think that it is acceptable for a member of Congress to spend their time climbing out of Bronze, which is not surprising given that she is a millennial. It pains me to see the taxes come out of my paycheck each week, knowing that my hard-earned dollars are going to a gamer like AOC. Quite frankly, I don’t think it is useful to have someone in Congress that knows how to freeze a lane or when to rotate to help her jungler fight over scuttle crab. Real Congresspeople are too busy using campaign money as their personal slush funds, or drinking cocktails with lobbyists in a luxury box at a marque sporting event, or actively working to unravel environmental laws so that a major polluter they own a significant stake in can continue to profit uninhibited.

Those are the real congresspeople, and the real Americans. They aren’t smashing through the enemy base with Rift Herald or pulling off a dramatic Baron steal. No, the real Congresspeople are the ones leveraging their wife’s position as Secretary of Transportation to help flood his home state with federal funding, whilst simultaneously accepting millions of dollars in shady campaign donations from his wealthy foreign father-in-law. That is the sort of behavior I expect from Congress – including AOC. If only the youngest member of the House had any principles!

Ocasio-Cortez might be “proud” after reaching Silver in League of Legends, but if she was really dedicated to serving this country then she would have loftier accomplishments to feel proud about, like using her position and power to entrench herself in office while profiting handsomely off of every vote she casts. Instead, she apparently spends some of her free time playing video games. Sorry AOC – I just can’t abide by that. Or at least not until you climb out of Silver and into Gold.